She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
