"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
