I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
