Do you still have your period?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My ass is underappreciated
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
