wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
