i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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