sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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