I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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