Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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