Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
