it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
