i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
