just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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