this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
