seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize