Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
