If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
