yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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