her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
