We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
COCAINE IS GR8
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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