we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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