He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
