I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
zippers are such a cool invention
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
