New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
