literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
