How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
