somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
