Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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