Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Another day, another engagement, another cat
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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