And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize