Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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