My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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