Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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