We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
