He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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