so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
