I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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