I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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