Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
