We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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