i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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