I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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