My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
