we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
