I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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