How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize