I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
