last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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