Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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