i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
