How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
