I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All I want is dick and wine.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
