Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love you. Go after that dick
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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