The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
