Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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