Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
