Kiss
Puke
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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