I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize