I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
