Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
