Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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