Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
